avatardedpotterhead

misspryss:

julstorres:

survivablyso:

buckybarneswho:

Let’s be honest everyone would rather watch a Black Widow movie than antman

I’d rather watch Black Widow file her taxes than an Ant Man movie

Well you have to admit her work-related expenses would tell some pretty interesting stories all by themselves

Black Widow orders towels online: the movie

Black Widow reorganizes her sock drawer: the movie

Black Widow cleans her gutters: the movie

Still more exciting than Ant Man

avatardedpotterhead

avas-poltergeist:

indigofactory:

tardis-mind-palace:

fyliloandstitch:

This scene cracks me up. Not just for the dialogue, but for the mini-heart attack Stitch seems to have when Lilo yells out. 

I love Stitch so goddamn much. He can lift things 300 times his own weight, but one seven year old girl yells out and he grabs his chest in fear 

Let us not forget this real ass response, to her stupid ass epiphany.

I love how he holds his hands and looks at like “honey,no.”

tardisnoodles

marvelous-freeman:

fieldbears:

redvinesgiraffe:

democracykills:

swaggersbackto-theimpala:

I JUST REALIZED WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS SOUND LIKE! THEY COULD’VE BEEN SPEAKING FLUENT GERMAN FOR ALL WE KNOW

it’s too early for this late night tumblr shit

GUTEN MORGEN HERR PTERODACTYL

WIE GEHTS FRAU MASTADON

Oh my god neither of those are dinosaurs and there’s 145 million years separating them both, this post is a palaeontological disaster.

ultrafacts
ultrafacts:

zombiekittensandmadscientists:

comoausente:

aperturedalek64:

ironicpeaches:

aperturedalek64:

cant-think-of-anything-creative:

ultrafacts:

Source / More Facts HERE

no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue

Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.

fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure

CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”
Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.

… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.

It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.

It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart  or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.

ultrafacts:

zombiekittensandmadscientists:

comoausente:

aperturedalek64:

ironicpeaches:

aperturedalek64:

cant-think-of-anything-creative:

ultrafacts:

SourceMore Facts HERE

no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue

Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.

fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure

CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”

Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.

… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.

It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.

It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart  or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.

tardisnoodles

mr-mononucleosis:

lunalovegouda:

The intro cards for Futurama have always been one of my favorite parts of the show because people always talk about the old Simpson’s couch gag but this is just pure gold… I mean-

It goes from everything from 

image

image

and then they made fun of how much everyone reacted to the the infamous ‘dead dog episode’ that I cried about…

image

image

image

And then one time when the show got canceled…

image

and then when it came back..

image

you’re missing my favorite one though

image

tardisnoodles
drinkmasturbatecry:

razzledazzy:

netforce0:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

sensorydeprivationprincess:

turboslime:


Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?High five, America!


oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine


im crying

OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING

"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"
10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.

drinkmasturbatecry:

razzledazzy:

netforce0:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

sensorydeprivationprincess:

turboslime:

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.

Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.

There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?

High five, America!

oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

image

im crying

OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING

"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"

10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.